Easter 2015

This term we will process the below and other inputs on the Closeted, Survivors and on being an Ally to one or both of these. Further non-abusive non-imposing contributions welcome.

Cakewise, we've just had a CakeFaeries' Teashop Crawl is, since we'll be having one at some point soonish.

This involves going on a route with a number of teashops so as to have tea and/or cake :)

Its timing is only approximate, so it is `text to find us'.

Its organizers will carry cake of their own, so some stops will involve a nice place to sit outside for the consumption of that cake.

Being CakeFaeries, the Teashop Crawl is also opportunity for Assistant CakeFaeries to collect bags of cake to give out in their colleges, and might occasionally involve a CakeFaerie Scout or two taking a small detour on the route to pidge-Cake some people or hang a bag of cake from a nearby Assistant CakeFaerie's door.

As one can imagine, the Teashop Crawl is a Safer Space Event :)


We also ask in anticipation for help with distributing the cake next term .

More people tend to ask for Cake in the Exam Term than in Lent, and less people volunteer to help.

Some people also ask for cake on particular weeks, so we prefer (but don't require) for Assistant CakeFaeries to 'be on duty for a week' rather than 'be on duty in their college': time-slots rather than geography, with more willingness to roam afield. We can certainly show you how to be efficient :) and it's also why we've been encouraging some of you to Cake colleges in addition to your own. Far from all colleges/pidge rooms have their own resident Assistant CakeFaerie! That is some of how we differ from 1-college-only initiatives, though some of those are seeded by us - people see cake in pigeonholes and think 'my friends would like that too', or welfare officers try to cake a whole college ... but we're happy to also cake our members in other colleges that have no such initiatives.

Now also bear this in mind: Ex-Cam people and most Grads don't have exams, which makes you ideal for volunteering in weeks 5, 6 and 7 in particular. Undergraduates might volunteer for the weeks earlier than that. Mayweek, well, some years some of us go to the Jesus Green type Garden Parties and Society Picnics with Cake, Chocolates and Stawberries.


So then, being in the centre, we caked Caius, Trinity Hall, Christs and Kings.

The Great CakeFaerie on the Hill being present, a further bunch of fruitcakes went in that direction.

Someone also then doubled back to Jesus. It's possible more places got some.

A first batch also arrived at the Red Castle.

We've got some week by week coverage in the Backs area and the Riverlands area.

Some of us did indeed have a picnic with cake (and salad) on the Backs, followed by a Safer Space waterfight in the nearby avenues and greens :)

Sheila and her Dog Chain-Writing is now open, as is the Sansa and her Direwolves part of dealing with Survivors embedded within the activity of writing unusual Game of Thrones theories.


The Recent Past

Easter Break

Look, people from 20 or 30 different countries regularly read this page :) Know that you can write to our agents at cakefaeries *at* gmail.com if you have any benevolent questions, and abide by our Safer Space Rules and Disclaimer .

If you are looking into setting up Safer Spaces yourself, note that people coming to us about such matters usually adopt 2 percent or less of our rules and methods, even if UK-based, for which the current state of the law, the attitude of the public, the set-up of universities and of 'university' parts of town etc are more likely to be similar. These factors are more likely to be different abroad, including, in some cases, very different, so people looking into Safer Spaces abroad might well consider rather less than 2 percent of our rules and methods. Indeed, even 2 percent or less of our rules and methods can make a substantial difference to the wellbeing, safety and feeling welcome of a wide range of vulnerable people. For many people have thought about these things at ours, systematically, in an environment in which tolerant people can simply speak of new ideas without fear of being abused for having and stating these ideas. That means that there is constant progress. See here for more about this, including some idea of progress made.


Lent 2015 CakeFaerie News

Week 1

Chocolate Cake in Peterhouse!

Yay, CakeFaerie going into Pembroke accommodation gets more than they give (a box of liquorice and some fruit for a slice of chocolate cake!)

CakeFaerie enters Caius to clear out a baking tin of fruitcake! Local CakeFaerie boss passes it on, including some to Trinity Hall :)

Baking party! Various of the bigger cakefaeries make some cakes! Spill milk, traumatizing Alan the Penguin. Read Mr Bounce! (Yup, that's a Sheila and her Dog based Bakery! crewed by Cats and Princes and Panda Kings) Make nice icing! Decide not to use every-flavour cocoa beans. Greasing the baking paper has unintended side-effects: some of the Cakes have fluffed up lopsidedly. We even them out with icing, cake each other, and leave Cake for the Benefactor of the Scales and Lady Admiral of the Imperyale Measurynge Spoones :)

Two rooms in Newnham are visited. Apparently this required decyphering hieroglyphics! Followed by Caking John's and Clare Colony.

Cake enters Corpus, Emma, and, with a bit of help, Kings. The helper is themself Caked! And more is forwarded to another Deliverer CakeFaerie.

Big local delivery in Ye Red Castle :) Looks like someone's getting a promotion in the Order of the Glitter-and-Crumb-of-Comfort :)

. . .

This term's Theme is awareness of, and supportiveness toward, the Closeted.

I. We consider a broad and inclusive notion of Closeted.

For instance, many Survivors are Closeted about being so. Many people with mental health conditions are Closeted about those.

II. Also some people are Out about some aspects whilst Not Out about others. So a person could be Out as Gay whilst remaining Closeted about being Bi, Trans* or Aro for instance. Closeting can be multi-layered.

On the whole, some aspects of people are, or are perceived as, more stigmatized, or not as things that one wishes for specific or random unpleasant individuals to know about.

III. This can on occasion mean that a way some people are, or a difficult situation some people are in, is little known and highly invisible because between few and none of these people are willing to identify as such, or even risk being Outed by daring to spread awareness of such . This last expression in bolds is an example of Fork; such Forks can often be very significant in Closeted people's lives, hence why we introduce the term so early on...

IV. Thus there are many Invisible Peoples, or Mythical Creatures. The CakeFaeries can be considered to be a type of Mythical Creature, in that we have little wings and don't draw undue attention to ourselves in carrying out small acts of kindness :)

And as the Unicorn said to Alice, ``If you believe in me, I'll believe in you" :)

And so that we say unto the other Mythical Creatures and Invisible Peoples of benevolent varieties: those that are i) consensual, ii) legal.

V. We'll be saying here some of what such people can do to get by, and how others can make good Allies to them, even in cases in which the Allies know between little and nothing of what the Closeted person is Closeted about.

Week 2

Fitz is Caked, with some to be passed around more widely across the hill by the local Godmother CakeFaerie :)

Wands are awarded to three CakeFaeries for their good services. The Great CakeFaeries smile! At present, it takes around seven deliveries to be awarded your own Wand! They are shiny!!!

CakeFaerie Sibling pairs begin to be established. We need volunteers to carry durable cake/chocolate 24/7 for chance encounters with badges. Another Baking may be possible shortly :)

Some cake has been sighted in Christ's!

Chocolate Cake to Wolfson Court Girton!

Large amounts of Cake produced on the Hill. Some shared in Fitz, some moved on to the Red Castle and to one of the central cake distributors... Another sizeable bunch has gone to Christ's and a smaller one to Peterhouse :)

VI. Surmise from III that Being Out about something is one's own choice. A person can have extremly serious reasons for choosing one way or another.

ALLY-1. Thus it is not at all OK to make such a decision for another.

One is never to Out another person, whether on purpose or by accident, nor to 'put pressure' on others to be Out. One can very easily be out of one's depth in doing the latter.

VII. Not least because one might only know some of the things in question that the person is Not Out about, or how these bear relation to each other. Another reason for that is that globalization and quasi-obligatory social media render it much harder to be Out-X in one place whilst Closeted-X in another. They might for instance be forced to reside out of term in a country which criminalizes what they are Not Out about, or have chosen a career many of whose job opportunities happen to be in such countries, or those where the corresponding X-phobia is unregulated.

Another Great CakeFaerie found the hieroglyphs :) Two further CakeFaeries were in. By that point, we'd found all those people specifying addresses this term, except for one CakeFaerie regular who's been specifying a room address for many terms now without ever, as far as we know, having been found in person by any of our CakeFaeries. We guess some of us will be trying to go there again next week, though by now yet another person specifying an address has also signed up. Such surprise visits are within 10 am till 9 pm and last at most 5 minutes. Maybe more of you wish to sign up for such, though that's entirely up to you.

Maybe also more of you who've signed up again having cakefaerie'd in the last academic year but not in Michaelmas might consider whether you'd like a CakeFaerie Identifier Badge, since those only started being used last term :)

Our people's Sheila and her Dog Safer Space are starting 1 sentence at a time chain-writing on 'Cantabrocentric fake Mr Men and Little Misses' :) Email sheilachainstory *at* gmail.com if interested :) The participants in that are also open to apply for our CakeFaeries' Surprise Cake :)

Week 3

VIII. There are many kinds of 'Mythical Creatures'. The CakeFaeries themselves are such, as kindly people who give and receive cake. Sheila and her Dog are also Mythical; in fact "The CakeFaerie" is "Sheila and her Dog's" little sister: both are Safer Spaces of the same kind. That matters more here than the one giving cake and the other reading children's books. Though, symbols and awareness-raising apart, "Mythical Creatures" usually does refer to invisible minorities. The two uses of the word bear relation because the CakeFaeries etc are set up to be able to accommodate the invisible minorities use of "Mythical Creature".

IX. Invisibility is epoch-dependent. This soc-group has been running for a long time, so some who were once invisible are no longer so. Last term Asexuals and Aromantics formed an open group with a 'uni rep' for the first time; that illustrates well what 'ceasing to be invisible' means. Moreover, there are plenty of other peoples who continue to have no public recognition or protection. Or who daren't tell the world of the significant and to-others-harmless ways in which they are different for others. We already mentioned some in items I and II. Let us now mention some more cases.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: SUICIDALITY, EXCLUDED PEOPLE, ONGOING ABUSE SITUATIONS. Many Poly people are Closeted, as are many people who practise BDSM. Some already mentioned cases have 'somewhat' similar cases, such as Grey and Demi in relation to Ace and Aro. Or Intersex, Queer, Multi-Gender in relation to Trans*, as well as Transgender people who do not wish to transition for various reasons. Many people who are suicidal, or have gone through periods of time in which they were, are Closeted about that; nor should it be presumed that these are mentally unwell, for some such have external causes such as pile-ups of adverse circumstances or deliberate abuse by others. Which brings us on to people who are still being abused as a further group of people many of whom are Closeted, which in some ways are not to be confused with Survivors.

X. Also note that the pattern of groups based on a particular characteristic excluding some intersections, 'somewhat' similar cases and people who differ in how they view themself, well, this tends to repeat itself as 'further details' are considered. And what is a 'detail' to one person can be another's life or what they live for.

Whenever a group expresses an absolute view that all its members 'have' to accept, then some feel driven away and some feel they have to be closeted there about important aspects of themselves. Examples might include that Ace has to be viewed as a subset of LGBT*, or that Trans* has to mean Transsexual who has, is, or must eventually, transition. Problems with this being that some people don't view their own Asexuality in LGBT* terms, or that some people consider their gender identity to fluctuate. At ours, the way we do things is that everybody can view things however they please when applied to themself, whilst not pushing any kind of categorization upon anyone else. So the person who considers their gender to be part of a continuum is welcome to do so, alongside the person who holds the opposite view about themself. The Ace who views their Asexuality as part of LGBT* is welcome to do so, alongside the Ace who holds the opposite view about themself. This principle is clearly based on 'live and let live'. It is a principle of tolerance. It is also a principle of neither wishing to, nor placing any value in, pushing one's own views onto others. A principle of peace, and of eschewing 'might is right' for any kind of might. In a place that is this way, there are no intersectionality problems between the very different yet mutually tolerant inhabitants. This is a right kind of way of being in a general-purpose Safer Space. The exact details of how we do this are not expected to be unique, and are always open to constructive suggestions. Because there is no end to levels of 'further details' that matter to many of the different tolerant people.

XI. Propagation of Exclusions Let us look at another aspect of the 'make others agree or exclude them' attitude, in light of how the differences significant to many people have neverending layers. Yes, if a city's 'LGBT' club in fact excludes Bi people, the Bi people could form a Bi club. However, if several layers of differences are involved, such forming additional clubs to compensate for those who are not (bona fide) included in existing clubs runs into sufficiently different people being left with nobody but themself. So if a city's uni's Bi club excludes Grad members, there might by that stage be only one Out Bi Grad wishing to socialize on that basis. Thus if a group is, or feels, excluded from a larger group, and reacts by forming its own group based on different exclusions, it is propagating the misery of exclusion, including possibly to individuals who cease to be numerous enough to do the same.

[Incidentally, exclusions based on age, occupation, uni membership and 'rank' are very common in (multi)university cities; this is what Sheila and her Dog long-standingly opposes.]

Thus, whilst others are free to do as they please in running societies, at ours we do quite the opposite. By being a general-purpose Safer Space, a very wide range of mutually different people are simultaneously welcome at ours. All versions of 'Out Bi Grad', 'ARU student who is Closet Trans*', 'Ex-Cam Grey Ace' ... who are tolerant of each other are welcome here. [This paragraph's examples are made up, rather than 'testimonials' or actual members: we take anonymity very seriously here...] I.e. general-purpose Safer Spaces mop up many small fragments of the demographic who are not, or do not feel, welcome elsewhere. END OF APPLICABILITY OF TRIGGERS.

In the meanwhile we are still finishing allotting CakeFaerie Siblings to Active CakeFaeries and whoever else asks :)

Week 4

XII. One way of handling VII is not being on social media. This means that running societies, support groups etc solely via social media is in practise excluding i) some Closeted people, ii) Some people who are only able to be (somewhat, somewhere) Out through not being on social media. iii) Some Allies who are not on social media either so as to more publicly highlight that some Survivors and other Closeted people feel unable to participate in social media.

XIII. People putting up pictures of others on social media without their consent may also on occasion be unwittingly or deliberately Outing them, or risking doing so. This includes 'group pictures' and people 'caught in the background'. Such pictures might also reveal a person's whereabouts to stalkers or bullies, or that a person caught in an abusive relationship is going somewhere they don't have 'permission' to go. So the spread of camera phones and their use is posing a major problem. It would be rather reasonable if a few more societies, support groups etc openly declared and credibly implemented being no-picture zones or only pictures consented to by everyone featuring in the picture.

XIV. Let us next mention a widely useful method towerd proper inclusion of Closeted people. It is Not Having to Say Why. This is to be used in defense of one's personal boundaries.

"I am not OK being hugged, and I don't have to say why".

"I don't want to dance with you, and I don't have to say why".

"I don't want you 'walking me home', and I don't have to say why".

"I don't want to be called 'frigid', and I don't have to say why" (e.g. a Survivor might be deeply upset by that).

"I don't want to be called 'fat/ugly', and I don't have to say why". (Many people would neither dare nor want to call a Lady fat/ugly, and yet do so often and publicly toward people they perceive to be men, who are actually Closet Trans* Ladies. Why should these Ladies have to repeatedly put up with this, and with nobody around standing up for them, because they can't see the Lady in distress either?

"I don't want to be called 'unmanly/unwomanly', and I don't have to say why". (Many people would neither dare nor want to call a Trans* person such a thing; and yet do so often and publicly toward people they perceive to be Cis, who are actually Closet Trans*.)

"I don't want pictures featuring me to be taken, and I don't have to say why".

"I did not consent to featuring in pictures on your website, and I don't have to say why".

Such Not Having To Say Why is useful, particularly as there are many reasons for it. For instance a person being called 'fat' may also object due to low self-esteem, because they are a Trans* Ally whose awarenesses include some of this page's, because some friend of theirs was rendered suicidal by such abuse elsewhere. In no case need they say why, which provides cover. For without cover, a Fork prevents Closeted people from daring to do anything (other than leaving and not coming back). This Fork is 'repeatedly endure what happens to be highly upsetting abuse' or 'Out oneself by daring to stand up to it'. This Fork applies if one Has to Say Why, if one's 'being taken seriously' is implicitly contingent on them 'arguing their case', if people Not Having To Say Why is taken to imply that they themselves are Closeted in some particular, or any, manner.

If a place is run according to "A person is upset if they say they are, and without having to say why", then excuses like 'just joking' or 'I tease whoever I please', or someone saying 'why should I stop' about actions intrusive toward another, cease.

In a typical place, these attitudes form a random background in which occasionally Closeted people and other vulnerable people are disproportionately hurt by genuine accident.

However, additionally serial abusers hide in this random background, using it as excuses to investigate how to hurt or control others, to probe boundaries, to find and isolate vulnerable people, to find people they can particularly hurt and consider to be very likely to get away with it.

In our Safer Spaces, there is no such random background, because "a person is upset if they say they are, and without having to say why".

XV. They can do so with the label "SafeOut" or "CallOut" which makes it immediately and unambiguously clear that it is a serious matter, which stops the activity in question until what is causing it has been sorted out.

XVI. They can do so knowing that speaking out thus in self-defense is respected by the others present, and has no repercussions, because that is what the participants agree upon in participating. (And in those very rare occasions that a participant does not adhere to these things, what happens here is that the threatening individual is banned. This is as opposed to other places where the individual who hurts and threatens others also uses of those threats to 'get to be in charge' by intimidating other would-be organizers until they leave or are subjugated. Which includes 'less obvious' forms, such as hurting threatening other electoral candidates until they drop out. Or doing one's bullying from a 'position of popularity', which could include inevitably getting 'voted in' by one's friends despite treating various other would-be members appallingly. In these ways, 'society elections' and 'group or community majority decisions' are not immune from being misused or 'taken over' by bullies or other abusers. Many groups will oppose unpopular bullies, only to fall prey to a popular bully who invested in 'becoming part of the community' prior to showing their true colours in conducting abuse there unto vulnerable members, whoever they don't like, perceived 'rivals' etc.)

XVII. It is also very important to ensure that "a person is upset if they say they are, and without having to say why" solely involves self-defense rather than impositions upon others. We are not a debating club. We are not about forming consensus, but rather abut respecting our differences. We do not demand that others act as we do in their own groups, societies or institutions. Thus "a person is upset if they say they are, and without having to say why" means what it says. It is not a means of 'winning', 'pushing around' or 'getting to be in charge', those all being alien concepts here (a place that rejects any kind of 'might is right' practises). It is a case that each person having the right to not have their personal boundaries violated or repeatedly probed. Participation is contingent to agreeing to respect others' personal boundaries, just as in turn your own will be respected there. We are foremost a refuge. That is more important than what activities we offer, much less any concept of competing, winning at those activities, and more important than any other aspects about how we run our activitites. People volunteer to serve here, not 'demand to be in charge'. They do not have to compete for their issues to be on 'the agenda', because internally all tolerant awarenesses are, and externally we do not seek to impose things upon others. Externally we raise some awarnesses without expecting anyone in particular to listen, we raise concerns rather than make complaints, and provide partial suggestions to those seeking to be somewhat more of a Safer Space, or more aware of and seen as approachable by, various peoples. There are various awarenesses we daren't raise, whether at all or in certain places. There are various concerns we daren't raise in places that aren't our Safer Spaces and/or somewhat similar Safer Spaces.

Ally-2 is to stand up for a Closeted person in those places they don't dare to raise issues in but you do dare raise issues in. This is not necessary at ours by XIV-XVI. This does not mean it does not occur even there, since some people feel even safer if their personal Ally raises the issue there, or if a Safer Space Custodian does so after the person or their Ally speaks with them.

Ally-3 is to be aware that being an Ally itself can be dangerous in some places, so there can easily be limits on where one is willing to be an Ally. Those limits can come from the Ally themself, or from the person whose Ally they are. For they may place great value in the Ally and/or have great need of that Ally, Allies in general, or in having at least one Ally who's not currently badly hurt.

Ally-4. Ally-3 implies it is a good idea for a person to have more than one Ally.

4.1. For different Allies may be OK with being Allies in different places. One might be willing to sit in a forum secretly on behalf of the Closeted person, but not be OK with walking around with the Closeted person after dark. Or with talking with some particular Rep about the lack of support for Closeted people or about where the Closeted person they support might find a suitable helpline. Note that the Closeted person acting via the Ally in examples 1, 2 and 4 is adding a further layer of anonymity unto the Closeted person themself. Not their IP address, it's not them who gets to find out that the local Rep has no time for, or goodwill toward, Closeted people or those in 'politically unrecognized' difficulties.

4.2. It need not be left to the male, Out-Trans* or Closet-Trans* Survivor to find out in person that such and such a 'Survivor' helpline or support group in fact only caters for Cis females, or even refuses to acknowledge that male Survivors or Trans* people exist.

Far better that a person who is not triggered, or lesserly so, does the scouting around, without exposing the identity of the Closeted person or the raw mental wounds of the Survivor.

Please here note that the Closeted person, Survivor etc can entirely decide whare the Ally is to Scout, and, even if a place found satisfies all criteria stated so far, to still deem it unapproachable due to unsafety or risk, so that the Ally is to scout yet again elsewhere.

Having Allies who are willing to scout thus can give a lot of hope.

It is a ladder that can be built long enough to eventually get out of many a pit or 'catch-22'.




And this is some of why a lot of what we do here has an element of Scouting. CakeFaeries are, amongst other things, a type of Scout. So are Safer Space WaterFighters. So are Safer Space Custodians. So are those who compile lists of helplines, find out plodge opening hours and what societies, pubs etc have a greater tendency, and occasionally stated and implemented guarantees, to be Safer, and Safer for Whom.

Some of these activities involve being able to move around town effectively, not being seen, not being recognized, losing a tail, disappearing, not giving away who one is in conversation, sticking solely to what the person you are supporting consents to being mentioned, and so on. We offer a wide enough range of activities to accommodate closeted people amongst 'for fun', 'for cake' participants, and a wide enough range that Allies can develop skills useful in Scouting as an Ally. Some of our activities are gentle enough that people in great difficulty feel comfortable with them. One would much rather find out whether one can improve avoiding people by getting better at not falling into waterpistol ambushes, prior to actually trying to give one's real-life stalker the slip. Supporting isolated people in other colleges can involve getting in and out without being spotted as a cardless outsider, far better to try that with cake for consenting recipients before one does so as an Ally.

This is also tied to the slaying each others' dragons principle.

Some people daren't go where others are entirely unbothered, so sometimes one can send another, and sometimes people can return such favours in kind by going somewhere else that conversely the other person daren't go.

So Ally of can in some cases be reciprocal.

E.g. a Survivor and a Trans* person might be each others' Allies.

E.g. also two Survivors could be each others' Allies in an effective such manner due to being triggered by very different things and feeling safe/unsafe in very different settings.

4.3 For if one has multiple Allies, one is more likely to have an Ally who is presently unhurt, available in person etc.

Ally-5. Whilst multiple allies is a helpful position to be in, it is the person in need's business as to whom they trust. An Ally can vouch for possible further allies, but can't Out a Closeted person to such, or demand that the Closeted person trust them too.

Ally-6. If a person has multiple Allies who know and trust each other also, they can support each other. They can take turns, do shifts, each operate in the sphere they are most comfortable in. They might form a group around the Closeted person or Survivor, in which Closeted and Survivor needs are paramount.

Ally-7. Some Allies support multiple individual people they know, or even declare support of a whole people.

7.1. The first of these is furtherly conducive to Ally-6. Run Ally-6 as a society open to the public as service to further and unknown Closeted people, and you're starting to resemble our own Safer Spaces. More so if you use XIV to XVI also, and take note of and hand down the generalities and common patterns of the following. % Tolerance, the kinds of people needing or wishing for safer space, the difficult situations, and associated necessities such as how to scout, how to recruit effectively for a soc, how to fund and run a society without introducing external gatekeepers...

7.2. The second of these is much more common. Some people declare themselves a Trans* Ally, an LGBT* Ally, an Ace Ally... The thing these are to remember is that no individual e.g. Trans* person automatically consents to a general Trans* Ally being *their* Ally, speaking on their behalf etc.

An Ally can at most represent those people that they know, in accord with their do's and don'ts, their priorities and their beliefs. These can however vary very widely e.g. between Trans* people, so one can never generalize that knowing one Trans* person's, one knows Trans* opinions more generally. What an Ally to e.g. Trans* people in general can do is be open to learning about the thoughts, priorities and beliefs of a wide range of Trans* people: those one knows and those who declare such matters publicly for whoever cares to read.

7.3. Allies will find that some places exclude Allies. This often goes hand in hand with excluding Closeted people also, along the lines of "People who identify as X only", or, in practise "People who are X only", since people who are Closet-X would often be concerned that being part of that would be tantamount to Outing themselves. Some places say "X amongst others", "X-friendly", "X and Allies welcome" or "general-purpose Safer Space". Allies shouldn't go where they are definitely not wanted, accepting that some X want X-only spaces whilst some other X (with person overlap but geographiclly disjointly) want spaces big enough to accommodate X-allies and/or Closet-X people as well as Out-X people and possibly mutually tolerant Y, Z, A, B ... people. One attitude here is let there be Safer Spaces on offer that are a diverse enough set of different Safer Spaces that everybody has at least one such in which they feel safer. This is part of why we don't promote anything even vaguely near to exact copies of our own Safer Spaces. We interact with some groups about whether they might adopt one or two more of our many principles rather than even trying to propagate our whole mission statement, constitution, ruleset or whole-society packages. In this regard, see e.g. Badges or this account of the growth of a variety of distinct Safer Spaces amongst alternative communities.

Take the above as a draft, always open to changes, restructuring etc. We're still undecided about the final ordering of such things, and so have for now postponed summarizing. Figuring out whether Ally-1 to 7 are a wide enough set of sufficiently basic issues will likely take a while, for quite a lot of us know much more than that. Previous times we've laid out principles, rulesets and mission statements took years to reasonably finalize (and still occasionally get updated).

That said, expect more cake soon. The above obviously took longer than a baking session to write, let alone to discuss between experienced members over the years!

Indeed, three more colleges have been caked, a bag of cakes is currently in transit toward a fourth College, and three individual addresses have been caked.

The above includes finding the rarely found CakeFaerie specifying a room address :) However, in the meanwhile another cakefaerie specifying a room address has signed up!

We will say which colleges above once you've had time to be surprised...

We will at least for the moment look into writing unusual theories about George Martin's ``A game of thrones", as something we can easily do that may further increase traffic. This fulfils our basic function of not only doing things but doing them for welfare-related reasons as follows. It will contain a commentary interpreting this work of literature from the point of view of its raising awareness of the unfortunate diversity of abuse and of the nature of abusers. Like the current page, it will alternate between theories (cake) for its own sake and welfare interpretation statements. It is common for survivors to talk in stories so as to not give away who they are, and convey their point without going anywhere near what happened to them. By unusual, we mean that there's thousands of theories in the net already, but we will concentrate on some that we've never seen before. These sometimes bear relation to better known theories, which are 'inputs' or 'evidence'. So, yes, the link comes with Trigger Warnings, Book Spoilers and Spoliers if you've not seen Seasons 1 to 4 of the HBO version. As with all such theorizing, there is always also the possibility that some of our theories will turn out to be true in hitherto unreleased books and episodes...

Week 5

Indeed, those four colleges were Wolfson, Jesus, Corpus and Christs'... and the spare Caramel Shortbread ended up at CUSFS :)

The individual addresses caked were in Magdalene, John's and Jesus.

Sansa and her Direwolves :) - claim responsibility for the Wolfson raid :) This redoubtable delivery force then followed this up by striking in Homerton, Hughes Hall and Girton Proper within the space of a day... That's good going, particularly in Week 5! Of course, it helps to have a fully-grown alternative-universe Direwolf called Lady to get around the place :)

Meanwhile, some of the Sheila chainwriters have shown interest in our offer of cake... Waterpistoliers, you are next! Prepare to be discount-offer chocolatiered from the barrel of a... Lindor box? (Rather nicer than from the barrel of the approximately isomorphic nerf dartcannon...)

Safer Space issues specific to London are under consideration; this is relevant as a place where many people end up working...

Week 6

Chocolate indeed to waterpistoliers :)

Another Wand has been awarded. Our congratulations, and thankyou for helping out :)

A box of chocolates has been set in motion :)

This week, the people on duty as regards building up 'how to be an Ally' have turned out to be anactivists and Promoters of Multiple Societies *Friendly LoL*. And here is what they have to say.


Let's begin by giving some idea of the concept of anactivism.

Activists don't agree with 'the system' and strive to 'change it'.

Anactivists don't agree with the infinitesimally larger system consisiting of 'the system' along with the activists!

This is for various reasons, of which some are as follows.

1) Some anactivists consider activists to be merely striving to replace one form of 'might is right' by another! But that would just produce a different system based on other kinds of oppression, with slightly distinct beneficiaries (presumably the former activists included).

2) Some anactivists do not consider it acceptable for loud - and arguably abusive - behaviour to be the basis, the sine qua non of change. Regardless of whether this is due to 'the system' ignoring other mediations of change, or due to the activists being that way.

3) 1) and 2) are closely tied to how there are in fact at least two distinct groups of people who oppose bullies. Firstly those who wish to become bullies themselves, or end up that way. Secondly, those who oppose bullies in some place so that there be no more bullies in that place. Not the current bullies, not those opposing the current bullies, nor any other group of bullies coming in to 'fill the void' once the original bullies have gone.

4) Some Anactivists are much like conscientious objectors to war. They conscientiously object to the current conventions both about 'the system' and about 'the way change is to be brought about'. And, just occasionally, conscientious objectors, or other pacifists, manage to get their way without compromising their benevolent morals.

5) Some anactivists are anactivists because if activism done the current way were the only possibility, shy people would never have any say in either 'the system' or in activism as currently conceived of. On these grounds, the Shy Rights Movement lies outside of how other rights movements currently act.

6) Some shy people view 'being told to go to assertiveness classes if you don't want to continue to be ignored' in the same sort of light that LGBT people would view being subjected to 'deprogramming'.

Shy people have the right to not be trampled upon and the right to remain shy if they so wish, whether or not they choose to privately or publicly term themselves 'shy' or any other similar kind of word. They furthermore have the right to not have to choose between being not being trampled upon or ceasing to remain shy.

This is a case of 'live and let live'.

And the link between these things and Closeted people and Survivors? Well, some people are something like shy and do not identify as such.

And some people are shy as a consequence of being closeted about something else, survivor being one particular case thereof.

These are some of the ways in which a wider range of closeted people and/or survivors would benefit from a more shy-aware, shy-respecting world.

In which being shy or looking something like being shy are accepted, understood, unmarginalized, valued.

So that such people don't have to choose between ceasing to be shy and expressing themselves, by such as people giving the untalkative space to talk in and listening carefully to them.

We know first hand here that some people who seldom speak much have very valuable ideas; many of these safer spaces and societies here were designed by such people.

An it is hardly fair to ask of someone who is actually a closeted survivor to 'be more assertive or be disregarded.

An Ally might then say things like 'now that you and you have spoken, let us have a time interval in which anyone else can contribute'.

Or 'here is some anonymous written feedback from a previous week's discussion, and, at least to me, it appears to be wiser than anything else put forward this term'.


Next, SOFTPOMS (and most anactivists here who've expressed an opinion on the matter) view it as unacceptable for some group of people to impose their will upon other groups of people.

A) When this ceases to happen in some corner of the world, a number of communities will come to do things differently, providing a variety of environments that people can choose to spend some time in. This should be able to ensure that everybody has at least one home in which they feel welcome and safe.

On the other hand, imposing monopolies always leads to various pockets of vulnerable people feeling driven out and left with nothing.

On these grounds, societies, support groups, listening services, welfare provision ... should not ever have to kowtow to anybody imposing a monopoly.

Rather, anybody wanting to run any of these things should be entirely free to do so, and exactly how they please.

If some people do not like a given such, they are free not to go and to do their own thing in some other such (or create their own), but they can't instead tear down what they do not like, for that is aggressive, oppressive, monopolistic behaviour.

B) Each society, support group, listening service, welfare provider... should be free to not expose its organizers and participants to abusers, whether directly so or in the form of rivalistic or monopolistic external imposers. Each should be free to define abusers as broadly as its self-preservation requires, and for different groups to do so differently out of having different concerns, different experiences and different purposes. Anybody asked to leave alone a particular support group or safer space should simply do so, with no right to feel offended, for each only admits the presence of would-be participants that comply with said group's mission statement. And each is only a small corner of the world, serving as home for some people. It being that way in no way precludes a person asked to leave that group alone from having a home elsewhere. At least one place should be willing to take any particular person in; in the absense of that, there should be full freedom for that person to start their own.

C) This means no restriction on the number of clubs, no monopolies on any particular kind of activity, full sensitivity to the existence of difference. So that 'club X' and 'club X run as a particular safer space' are fully acknowledged to be highly different. As are 'club X run by this lot' and 'club X run by a different bunch', for it is entirely possible for two groups of people to like activity X but not be able to spend any time even vaguely near the other group. Sensitivity in these matters on the part of 'officials' would include never excluding any of multiple copies of an X from a socfair. Never pressuring such to 'unify', never enquiring into why they do not want to unify after a 'no means no' statement by one party involved. Not according privileges to 'an official' version of X, understanding that if Y wants to interact with X and there are two copies of X refusing to operate in the same general area, then the thing for Y to do is to arrange separate meetings with each group of X. Not tolerating one such X trying to wipe out another X by intimidation, or by stealing their recruits. Or sabotaging their events, whether underhandedly or by crashing the other X's meets leading to confrontations or to the other X's organizers being driven out of their own meets in tears.

And the link between A) to C) and closeted people and survivors? Well, sometimes one person very keen on activity X is the survivor of the abuse from another person very keen on activity X. If one of these never wants to see the other again, why should they have to forfeit activity X? Particularly in cases in which X is a safer space and/or a support group and/or not just a society but also a subculture which the survivor belongs to. For indeed some people can identify with a subculture to the same kind of extent that people can identify with their gender, orientation ... And some societies are in fact the local manifestations of a subculture. This includes some subcultures having, a priori, just one type of associated society X in a single copy. Then if sexual assault, major bullying, stalking... occurs there, some people may well have a strong wish to set up an organizationally disjoint second copy of X that is a suitable enough safer space for the survivors in question to actually feel safe enough to attend that society.

In Cambridge, the good fortune is that 'unofficial' societies are unrestricted in the above ways, both in principle and in practise (at least so long as they are in time to get a socstall). The downside is that they cannot obtain funding without being subjected to highly unwelcome questions as to why they need to be a separate society. Why they have to be a particular kind of safer space, why they cannot be run in the 'official manner'. (Which has no safeguards against being infiltrated by bullies, especially 'popular bullies' who could 'outvote' survivors and people vying to keep survivors safe). The suggestion then has to be that people needing to set up further societies do so for low-budget activities. They can fund these out of their own pockets. Or out of their own fund-raising ventures. Or out of taking part-time paid holiday work in order to sustain the activity by which they or the person they are Ally to manages to be safe and not be left with nothing in life. These are then some of the things a dedicated Ally will do. Found or co-found societies, safer spaces or support groups that survivors and/or closeted people that they are Allies with can actually feel safe at. In the face of 'no official recognition' and 'having to find their own funds' rather than only getting such things through being compelled to be run according to some 'standard format' which in fact renders the society in question unsafe for crucial intended attendees.

Week 7

This week we point you to existing links from the Guerrilla Welfare Corps.

This one explains links between the New, the Shy and the Different .

This one explains how lighter-hearted socs are useful to the preceding Peoples .

And more on the considerable social value of such Societies .

This one is on how to enhance such socs' functions with welcomer person 'posts' .

This one is on how one might 'badge' one's Soc to indicate who's particularly safe and welcome there. Perhaps more of you should consider setting this up in whatever other societies you are part of running... This one is definitely relevant to what Allies do!

This short one provides a strong reason why Safer Space provision sometimes necessitates multiplicity of societies. That's one big reason why SOFTPOMS was set up...

And this one is on why multiplicity of Parenting Schemes is probably also a good idea as regards the Welcoming and Welfare function of parenting working out, somewhere, for those most in need of it...

This one specializes to some further issues faced by Graduate Freshers.

Finally, this one explains why Approachability is an essential part of any *genuine* welfare provision . That is crucial to understand for many things Allies do: the person they are Ally to finds a wide range of would-be welfare providers unapproachable, and so may require of an Ally to test some such out or search for more. This is especially important in the cases in which the person one is Ally to is Not Out. So that they don't have to risk leaving a name or recollection of a face behind amongst welfare providers who aren't in fact considered by that person to be suitable or safe to be around, have contact with, or be Out to. Often far better it is someone other than the Male Survivor that finds out that some group offering support to Survivors refuses to support, or even acknowledge the existence of, male survivors. Or that the Ally finds out that a given 'helpline' is in fact staffed by transphobes, or people not trained well enough in 'nonjudgmentality' to include being nonjudgmental on, say, Poly or Ace matters. An Ally going first into such places can prevent not only unsafe disclosure of closeted matters, but also prevent exposing a vulnerable person to triggering and abuse. Some Closeted people also choose to infer that welfare providing places that refuse to serve Allies, or are unaccustomed to interacting via third parties, have insufficient awareness and training in Closeted matters to be trusted. A welfare providing place showing nothing but benevolence and a will to learn might be taught by Allies, on behalf of Closeted people, awareness of Closeted people (and indeed interacting with them via Allies).

This term's caking having been done, nice start of next term Activities are currently being planned...

This Term's Sheila Chainstories are beginning to be completed here :)

Week 8

Let's start by explaining what the CakeFaeries' Teashop Crawl is, since we'll be having one at some point soonish.

This involves going on a route with a number of teashops so as to have tea and/or cake :)

Its timing is only approximate, so it is `text to find us'.

Its organizers will carry cake of their own, so some stops will involve a nice place to sit outside for the consumption of that cake.

Being CakeFaeries, the Teashop Crawl is also opportunity for Assistant CakeFaeries to collect bags of cake to give out in their colleges, and might occasionally involve a CakeFaerie Scout or two taking a small detour on the route to pidge-Cake some people or hang a bag of cake from a nearby Assistant CakeFaerie's door.

As one can imagine, the Teashop Crawl is a Safer Space event :)


We also ask in anticipation for help with distributing the cake next term .

More people tend to ask for Cake in the Exam Term than in Lent, and less people volunteer to help.

Some people also ask for cake on particular weeks, so we prefer (but don't require) for Assistant CakeFaeries to 'be on duty for a week' rather than 'be on duty in their college': time-slots rather than geography, with more willingness to roam afield. We can certainly show you how to be efficient :) and it's also why we've been encouraging some of you to Cake colleges in addition to your own. Far from all colleges/pidge rooms have their own resident Assistant CakeFaerie! That is some of how we differ from 1-college-only initiatives, though some of those are seeded by us - people see cake in pigeonholes and think 'my friends would like that too', or welfare officers try to cake a whole college ... but we're happy to also cake our members in other colleges that have no such initiatives.

Now also bear this in mind: Ex-Cam people and most Grads don't have exams, which makes you ideal for volunteering in weeks 5, 6 and 7 in particular. Undergraduates might volunteer for the weeks earlier than that. Mayweek, well, some years some of us go to the Jesus Green type Garden Parties and Society Picnics with Cake, Chocolates and Stawberries.


This week, we also explain some of how we do things here. This includes some Ally things, and people founding their own stuff elsewhere (which can in turn reflect who one is, or becomes, an Ally to :) ).

I. These Safer Space Societies are not a campaign. These Societies do not seek to impose their ways or views upon non-members.

II. On the other hand, these Safer Space Societies are a *refuge*. A refuge for such as Survivors, the currently abused elsewhere including specifically those excluded on grounds of age/occupation/what uni they are at and with what 'rank', Closeted people, and other legal and consensual minorities which remain largely unknown to the public and unprotected by laws and authorities. So that such have *somewhere they can go for a couple of hours a week*, or *something to do* or *just be part of* where they know they won't receive abuse - deliberate or random or deliberate underhandedly 'disguised' as random. Because other places don't know how to free themselves of such abuses. Or don't want to, or can't afford the time, thought and effort to not to, or prioritize other things like their society's activity rather than the service they offer to good people who are unfortunately stuck in difficult situations. Our societies serve as a guarantee that there exists a small corner of Cambridge where such people aren't also abused or afraid that it'll happen and be unchallengeable by one in their situation as has happened so far in all the social groups and soceties that they've ever tried to be in.

This very much fits what safer space ought to mean! [Safe(r) space does not at all mean the same in each place it is used. See here, here and the block of text above the shields on our Rules for various types of Safer Space. The Michaelmas 2014 CakeFaerie News below also contains various classifications of types of Safer Space. Guaranteeing that as wide a range as possible of people in difficult situations have a small corner they feel welcome at to which can go to for a couple of hours a week, that requires Safer Spaces. In fact, it requires multiple Safer Spaces with different aims, different rules, and entirely separate jurisdictions. General-purpose Safer Spaces such as ours cover many cases together, including many that are not numerous enough to have specific Safer Spaces elsewhere, plus all the Closeted people for whom specific Safer Spaces are unapproachable due to being an Outing risk.

Moreover, multiple distinct Safer Spaces itself requires an effective absense of groups seeking to impose their ways or views upon non-members. In a nutshell, anyone demanding a monopoly on anything is in practise marginalizing vulnerable people by trying to bring about a situation in which some of them are left with nothing. Thus no monopolies here, thank you very much. Any person or group should be free to set up their own society or support group with whatever rules/mission statement they please. Then those who done't like that simply don't have to belong to it; the lack of acceptance of monopolies of course means that they can set up their own one elsewhere if they so wish.

III. What we are, in outline, is a place of support and of entertainment (never extending to `fun' at other peoples' expense). The *refuge* aspect of support is as above, however we support not only people in difficult situations but also benevolent people who wish to help out, whether at ours or elsewhere. In this way, we are a seat of learning: of awarenesses of all the legal and consensual peoples' nature and what adversities they face, of all the difficult situtions people can find themselves in, of ways of being kind and supportive toward such, of ways of defending ourselves from harm. And of learning how to run societies well. What you can learn here can be so you can be part of running these safer space societies. Or, just as well, so that you are an effective and benevolent Ally toward people you know who have confided in you. Or because you've another society elsewhere that you are part of running, and wanted to be more efficient. (We record and hand down menus of past ideas and methods, and constantly classify, question, cross-fertilize and refine by application of the scientific method). Some people running other societies wish for the other society to become safer in this or that way, and so take up to usually around 2 percent of our rules/mission statement. They are welcome to do so; we are not however in the business of attempting to make full or extensive copies of ourselves. That would be very hard, because our societies are not just based on activities, rules and websites, but also of longstanding trust between people who are n-sigma-unusual in a number of diverse yet relevant ways that complement each other. Nor would that be viewed as desirable by us, since we believe in each person thinking for themselves, and in groups in which differences of thought are ironed out and people with different talents, motivations and likes are open to finding out benevolent and effective means of collaborating with each other. Ergo, other groups somewhat like ours would likely evolve practises rather different from ours.

IV. Sometimes benevolent people who wish to help out become worn out, or hurt as they do so elsewhere. In this way, both people in need and people helping out can be in need of a refuge. Whether to hide in, to rest in or to be looked after until they are well enough to venture more widely once again.

V. A typical path at ours is that a person helps out at ours for a term or two, then looks to help out elsewhere (some other society or support group, sometimes set up by them for a specific purpose). In most cases, they move on to the other place, or a sequence of such, sometimes retiring when they get a job, a job promotion, married, have a baby. In a few cases, however, they have doors slammed in their faces by other places' organizers, or are mistreated by some participant at the other place. In such cases they can come back to us, and not just on 'reunion vacation', but rather for support until they have healed/become strong enough again to restart such ventures elsewhere.

VI. The high levels of rules, mission statement and security that we have are commeasurate with the people in difficulty we stand up for, with helpful people learning from us, and with helpful people coming back to ours when things elswhere have not gone well. Other places that do not have these functions needn't expend anywhere nearly as heavily as we do on rules, mission statement and security. This is, of course, another reason why people coming to ours for ideas as to how other societies might be more helpful toward people in difficulty take on board 2 percent or less of the totality of what we do. Good choices of such a 2 percent already suffice to be a number of years ahead of other societies as regards a range of awarenesses, inclusivenesses and methods of implementation.


Michaelmas 2014 CAKEFAERIE NEWS

The theme this term is multigenre depictions of Safer Spaces, from She Ra's Whispering Woods to Hogwarts' room of requirement, from Lorien, Gondolin and Rivendell to our own CakeFaeries and Sheila; Cambridge Safer Space Waterfighting's fighters are Lorien's Elvish Archer Scouts and the Great Rebellion.

Fri October 10

* The Shortbread Faerie got things going with an incursion from the room of requirement into the Griffindor and Ravenclaw mailing rooms at Hogwarts (Hill Colleges CakeFaerie Fief).

* Headmistress Alba Patricia Welfareicca Bryony Dumbledora wishes to say that "Help will always be available at Hogwarts for those who ask for it".

[This is taken to apply throughout Cambridge rather than just in the Hill Colleges.]

"Also, if you give out enough Cake (forecast to be around seven pieces this term), we'll award you your own CakeFaerie Wand!"

Sat October 11

* CakeFaeries' Squash! (joint with Sheila and her Dog's!) Yep, we Caked them, and further Cake is believed to have been conveyed to the adjacent Fresher Pelicans :)

Sun October 12

* Meanwhile, over at Gondolin & Caius Place, the room of requirement's Sirius 'Forel' 'Fruitcakes' Black apparated into the bar area with fine iced specimens.

* But Gondolin & Caius Place has enough CakeFaeries to be a Fief in its own right, our other Scout, Ginny 'Jaffacakes' Weasley also brooming in there with a long column of her eponyous sponge, orange and milk-chocolate Charms.

[The Shortbread Faerie and the Jaffa Cakes Faerie are Scouts.]

* Meanwhile in the Rivendell Fief (Magdalene, Clare Colony and St John's), another chunk of Fruitcake has been spread out. The Daily Prophet would have us believe this to have also been the work of notorious mass caker Sirius Black. Though on this occasion inside help is believed to have been received in the conveyance of baked goods by the local Elvish Archer Scouts. Thankyou!

* Battle Squash of our Sister Society, Cambridge Safer Space Waterfighting! Nope, we didn't Cake them, we offered them a Cherry Pie!

* CakeFaeries also present at CUSFS Mon October 13

* The room of requirement is outfitted for baking! And so Griffindor common room (Fitz pigeonholes) has been raided again with a home bake!

* Owls/Ravens/Kowl and Madam Razz have by now been sent out with the CakeFaerie Identifier badges.

If you asked for a badge before Monday and haven't received one yet, kindly tell us :)

* Meanwhile, over at She Ra's Whispering Woods (Grange Road CakeFaerie Fief), a certain place replete with Modulok's nefarious tecnobots has been overcome with local help! This was part of a wider column of mostly flapjacks, which passed through the homes of various Twiggetts and members of the Great Rebellion.

Tues October 14

* The multiple apparitions of Cakes at Hogwarts have caused yet further signups there, and for another of its esteemed Residents to greet them with a third round of Cake!

You are reminded to be considerate and discreet in your Cakefaerieing actions! Do not perform the Pannetonus Charm in the presence of a Muggle! :)

Wed October 15

* Breaking news! Flapjacks flown into Ravenclaw by the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team!

* A selection of messages received back from new CakeFaeries:

"Just got my badge this morning! Thank you very much, it put a lovely smile on my face to an otherwise cold/coughy day."

"Dear cake faeries :)

Thank you for the cake you left in my pigeon hole and by my door. Really cheered me up and very tasty!"

* A reminder: If you are also playing Assassins, their rules say that the CakeFaerie cannot be used as an excuse in making attempts. This means conversely, that if you, as a CakeFaerie are trying to get into a corridor that happens to be defending itself from assassins, then your saying that you're a CakeFaerie lets you though. In the sense that you can say that the assassins rules don't permit those saying they are CakeFaeries from killing anyone during CakeFaerie business, so they can let you in. This applies both to if the CakeFaerie you are visiting there is an assassin and if a corridor contains both a CakeFaerie address and a distinct assassin address.

Assassin CakeFaeries often offer those they have just killed biscuits. However, this practise should not be confused with CakeFaerie-ing: the person you've just killed might refuse that offer, and also that would be an assassins interaction under their rules, rather than a CakeFaerie interaction under our own Safer Space rules.

CakeFaerie-ing specifically means from CakeFaeries to other CakeFaeries and in accord with the CakeFaeries' Safer Space Rules.

Sat October 18

The Great Bake! Approximately 70 portions of chocolate cake made!

Two successful room visits and a column of cakes goes into Emma.

Sidney is Caked, including one succesful room visit.

Benet's Hostel Corpus Caked, and Botolph's is both caked and flapjacked!

Sun October 19

Peterhouse and Trinity Hall are Caked - and Biscuited unto he who specified biscuits.

Another cake appears in Magdalene, and two more in Jesus.

Elephants and Cocoa in the outer defenses of Lothlorien! Cambridge Safer Space Waterfighting is Chocolated on Lammas Land!

The column of cakes that went into Emma splits into cakes for Emma, cakes for Christ's and cakes for Pembroke...

Two large chocolate cakes, one labelled "Chocopalypse" enter the CUSFS discussion meeting on "Apocalypses".

Mon October 20

Cake sighted in King's, Corpus and Catz!

Badge Scouts roam through the NMS, Mill Lane, and Sidgwick site.

Yet another column of chocolate cakes ventures into Caian territory...

Wed October 22

Active CakeFaerie Assistants start to be introduced to each other zonally in all the Fiefs containing more than one such...

Has Cake been sighted in Kings', Corpus and Catz?

End of October

* SAFEOUT. ALERT. IMPORTANT. CAKEFAERIE-ING IS NOW TO CEASE BY DUSK EACH DAY. Going around Cakefaerie-ing is now to cease by dusk each day, that's roughly 4pm (as opposed to the usual 9pm end every day), but judge it yourselves by the colour of the sky, includinggetting home before it's dark.

This is due to the past 10 days' spate of at least 10 serial/gang SEX ATTACKS AROUND CAMBRIDGE by men allegedly belonging to an army unit based in barracks a few miles out of town.

You can CakeFaerie within your own College 4 till 9, provided that your doing so is just a different path traced out within your College's grounds.

Heed what other advice your College issues in such times. Stay safe. This city is usually not like this.

The Safer Space Custodians

* In the meanwhile, CakeFaeries helping out continue to be introduced to each other in each of our various Fiefs...

* We're also looking for more people to be involved in further ways...

* Let us tell you about the Whispering Woods depiction of a Safer Space, from the mid 1980's. This is the name this term of the Grange Road area CakeFaerie Fief.

This is very early for such a depiction.

On Etheria, Hordak has taken over the planet with his war robots and supervillains.

A Great Rebellion resists him, but are much smaller in numbers.

There is however a forest - the Whispering Woods - into which they can hide, whose trees move to prevent Horde members from being able to follow the Rebels into there, or to see into there.

Many of the rebels have a different talent each. The Great Rebellion's leadership knows how to include these talents and make use of them to protect each other.

One of the leaders is well known, as She Ra.

Many, but not all, of the Rebels are ladies. Some Rebels bear what can be interpreted as LGBT* symbols, in particular rainbow colours are recurrent.

Only three people know that one of the Rebel Leaders, Adora, is actually also She Ra.

This has been interpreted along the lines of Allies (people who are not themselves X but support a person who is X, or people who are X in general).

She Ra is stronger than Adora, possibly as an indicator that being one's true self can strengthen one's abilities.

And yet she is not able to be in that stronger state often, and confides her identity in few.

* Let us tell you of the difference between Gondolin-type and Lorien-type Safer Spaces. These are the names this term of our Gonville and Caius and Outskirts CakeFaerie Fiefs.

Gondolin's location, and even existence, is a closely guarded secret. This is a source of defensive strength, but also a substantial limitation on people knowing the refuge is there, being able to find it and make use of it. In the deep past, our Safer Spaces were of Gondolin-type. The times were dangerous and oppressive enough that there was no other way to survive. In more recent times, our Safer Spaces became of Lorien-type - locatable, advertised as such, defended now solely by being ringed with skilled scouts and protected by the magics of strong benign sorceresses. This means, for instance, that a gate to the safer spaces appeared labelled "Alternative Welcome and her CakeFaerie". Prior to that, the CakeFaerie had existed further underground.

November 3

Whilst distinct from CakeFaerieing, which is of other CakeFaeries, under Safer Space conditions and out of bounds as regards their game, the Assassins Guild Police Force has been out and about in big numbers, meeting, 'killing' and offering biscuits to its passive participants (also known as incompetent assassins). Given there's 'somewhat of an overlap' between the two societies, much of the known purveyance of cookies this week has gone in that direction, what with most CakeFaeries already having received at least one piece of cake this term :)

November 7

* The Safety Alert of the past 10 days has now been taken down. CakeFaerieing can thus resume in the 4pm till 9pm slot. You are reminded that "SafeOut" or "CallOut" are used at ours to label unmistakeably serious matters; these rarely occur, but when they do, use of "SafeOut" and "CallOut" should not have become forgotten...

* We have had various offers as regards places CakeFaeries can go to bake :)

* The past couple of weeks has also seen Asexuals do quite a number of things for the very first time. Begin to form a group, in some cases Come Out, start to hold meets, appoint themselves a Rep in the official sector (not an easy thing to do). Have an Asexual Awareness week, be recognized by various other institutional bodies.

A number of people here express their support. This includes Trans* people from before these had such as a rep and meets. Whilst people with a rep and meets start to have other choices, prior to such times for community X, in some cases our general-purpose safer spaces were pretty much the only place with awareness of X, acceptence of X and safety for X. Trans* people took refuge at ours at least as early as the early 1990's - almost two decades before significant changes in anti-discrimination laws. We point out that, whilst Asexuals (and somewhat similar folk - we will provide a link here promoting awareness of the corresponding diversity) have now started to have meets and a rep now, much as Trans* people came to have a number of years ago, there's a large number of other X's that do not. Reasons for this include that some X's are very few, that some are very largely not Out, and that some of these entirely legal and consensual X's remain unprotected by law, by other authorities and by public opinion. There are therefore ongoing reasons to provide general-purpose safer spaces with more than the surrounding environment's amount of awareness and tolerance for diversity between people. Regardless of whether X are willing and able to get organized as regards providing X-specific meets anytime soon, they remain welcome at ours, and are safe there whether or no they identify as X. That is quite a lot of why these general-purpose safer spaces exist :)

* As term progresses, most CakeFaeries will have received at least one cake. As such, we look to see if we can pass on more cakes via the new identifier badge system, and are also open to CakeFaeries naming societies who would like to receive cake on a somewhat larger scale than an individual CakeFaerie. This Newspage lists which lighter-hearted socs have already received such Cake.

CakeFaerie-Parents and/or CakeFaerie-Siblings allotted :)

* There's been a CakeFaerie raid into Fitz and Murray Edwards!

* Caius has been caked again!

As regards the room of requirement at Hogwarts, it is found by one in great need and it is well equipped for that need. It is also hard to find or get into by those who mean it ill. In these ways it is a Safer Space. Like it, we will by asking for feedback change what activities we do within, at least within what we can fund.

Cambridge Safer Spaces Waterfighting : Our room of requirement is equipped with waterpistols for battles. This includes getting good at avoiding ambushes and making one's escape, all within a non-threatening format in which one can explore how to be alert and how to get away from pursuers. Some people find this useful in gaining some understanding in real life security situations, because the type of thinking involved carries over (just what the safe endpoints are change). It remains largely unacknowledged to date that some Survivors develop hypervigilance and the need to figure out how to avoid being attacked again. And that this can be addressed via a large menu of options that they can choose from rather than a small set of always imposed overly restrictive maxims. Our team battles pitch the Golden CakeFaerie Flag team against the Asexual Pride team; those are this year's flags as per the room of requirement principle :)

Sheila and her Dog Ours is equipped with children's books. Reading these in silly voices is a great de-stresser, a noncompetitive environment. This is also where people very badly affected by the discriminations in other societies on grounds of age and occupation were able to find refuge. Everybody is six here. Meaning we do not play 'ostracize the grad' here, or tell the ex-Cam person it's 'students only', or tell the ARU student it's Cambridge Uni only. Actually, yes, some people's lives have been ruined on this basis. You might consider asking your other societies to not do this to decent people, including to those that someone pushy 'views as potential rivalsz' and then summons some kind of cheap excuse like the preceding to invalidate them. Some other people formed grads-only socs in reaction to this. But that just perpetuates the misery by excluding postdocs and ex-cams, who are then not numerous enough to form essentially any specialized clubs. Thus, rather, abolish discrimination on grounds of age or occupation. This is some of what the Sheila and her Dog society is about. That it was quite possibly the first society in the city to accept and respect Trans* people - at least as far back as the early 90's - ought to also raise some eyebrows as to who actually listens to and provides for those peoples who are different and often vulnerable and have not yet been granted any protection by the law, the university and the public perception.

The CakeFaerie And ours is equipped with cake and wands and a few wings and baking tins and reserves of cocoa powder and sugar and vanilla :) This activity has only a few and entirely non-obligatory meetings, allowing for more people to know they can participate here without expending much time at all. The cake is seen as a supportive gesture by many. Granted, it isn't always enough, but those who need a therapist instead, say, should not discount that it does help a range of others, including some people for whom, conversely, therapists don't work either. So don't demean gentle widely appealing but nonspecific means of doing welfare.

This term CUSU themselves were often out on the backs with tea and biscuits during the week 5 blues. We see that as a step in the right direction (so long as they don't put all of their resources into that (which they don't).

These sorts of practises cause of those doing them to be more approachable by people in difficult situations. Genuine welfare gives a damn about approachability,

* Cake in Selwyn, Wolfson AND Wolfson Court Girton! A winged unicorn does help extend the range of one's patrols along the edges of the Whispering Woods :)

* Caramel Shortcake in Jesus!

* At the close, a long sweep across town, from Wolfson Court Girton to Selwyn to Wolfson to Darwin to Hughes Hall to Homerton!

* An End of Term CakeFaeries' Family Meal! Fruit-bread cakes and brownies are exchanged. There are salads and roast mushrooms and mandarins :) A Wand is awarded :) Various Mr Men Books are read in the style of Sheila and her Dog, with associated Mathmocentric jokes. There is another such reading with a small picnic at half-time in the Waterfighting Battle, with associated mewls and piped Clanger voices.

* A late request to go again to Wolfson Court Girton is met :) Simultaneously various CakeFaeries' Greetings Cards are sent out (we had a donation of cards). Happy Holidays and we're back next term!


For other Lighter-Hearted Socs, whether to visit or to offer Cake to, see here. The focus of the end-of-term CakeFaerie in Michaelmas is Societies. In Lent, there are instead CakeFaerie Siblings. Easter is about quiet deliveries where most needed, possibly followed by raiding such as the Cardboard Boat Race with Choicolates and Strawberries :) That's the CakeFaeries' yearly cycle :)