CAMBRIDGE SCAVENGER HUNT ARCHIVE: Michaelmas 2018

INTRODUCTION: WHAT IS SCAVENGER HUNTING?

In Michaelmas, we release lists of around 50 to 100 items every fortnight :)

These items are things to find, and/or act out, and/or draw, photograph or video. A few involve comepeting with other teams, or solving puzzles. Some items are subject related, college related, book or film related, and a range of unusual objects.

Past examples include most unusual flavour of chocolate, largest clock, posing as Darwin outside Darwin College (other Colleges' equivalents of this are left to your imagination :) ) and building a scale model of Minas Tirith out of a portion of fudge.

The main points of the activity are having fun and meeting (or elsewise interacting with) people :)

Here is Michaelmas 2018's Items List for Weeks 1 and 2

Here is Michaelmas 2018's Items List for Weeks 3 and 4

Here is Michaelmas 2018's Items List for Weeks 5 and 6

Here is Michaelmas 2018's Items List for Weeks 7 and 8

We'll be judging items each Sunday afternoon for the first two weeks, and judging those items that can be judged by email weeks 3 to 7. We'll have judges again available in person in the last 2 weeks of term. Judges often have nice edibles to share; these upcoming judgings are also the CakeFaeries' start of term Squashes :)

Items are awarded points; it is always possible to score at least part of the points with partial efforts :)

The team with most points wins, gets a trophy with their team name on it to keep for the year, and, customarily, gets to run and judge next year's Scavenger Hunt :) Moreover, we reiterate, the main point of the activity is that it is fun, good clean fun: laughing with people rather than at them :)

To participate, sign up, whether as an individual or as a team, by emailing cakefaeries *at* gmail.com.

See here for The Scavenger Hunt Rules, including Safety and Conduct Rules all active participants in the Scavenger Hunt must read.

People are welcome to sign up early, seek to form a team and then tell us who the team are :)

Once you have them, write in again naming your team mates and providing a Team Name :)

Team names tend to be one or both of Silly and Descriptive.

The reigning champions are known as "I am Spartacus and so is my College Wife" alias "I am Spartacus and so is my College Cat"

The 2017 champions are "A Supply and Confidence Deal between Lord Buckethead and the Inanimate Carbon Rod"

Other past winning teams' names include "The Boom Squad", "Robyn kicks you in the face", and "Purple Clouds". We'll make these into a table here, by the simple expedient of reading them off the cup that came with the activity :)

As further examples of team names, "The Fantastic Five", "Bazalgette and the Englings", "This is Sparta", " Ducklings of the Apocalypse, and "The Bermuda Pentagon" :) are some past entries, the focus on five being the maximum team size, the focus on Sparta(cus) probably just being a coincidence.

Newsflash (October 16)

The below Teams have entered so far; giving a team name is worth 5 points. Baking a cake and then bringing it to the Squash is worth 20 points per 10 portions. But don't cut it up yet as we might decorate it with Fondant first... (We did, and then presented it to a Deserving Party :) )

Newsflash (October 22)

Every fortnight's items' superlatives are scored at the end of that fortnight; the first fortnight's superlatives have already been scored.

Newsflash (October 30)

Judges get the same amount per items list item contributed as chainwriters get per line written :)

A selection of completed and uncompleted chain stories generated in Weeks 3 and 4 are under the score table; you get 1 point per reasonable-sized sentence added, 8 points for finishing one. If more than 1 team adds to a chainstory between updates, it becomes Choose Your Own Adventure. You then get extra points for coming up with decision nodes at each branch. You finally get further points for writing lines by which previously separate chainstories feed into each other, whether linearly or via choose your own adventure decision nodes.

Newsflash (December 5)

Final scores are in. Winterfell have won. Congratulations, and thanks to all participants :)

What Winterfell have won is that the unit of scavenging-activity - points per day - shall henceforth here be the milliwinterfell.

1 milliwinterfell = 7 points per day, for scoring at this rate in the endgame weekend :)

[On the one hand, over the entire term, Winterfell scored at a rate of around 90 milliwinterfells to 70 milliwinterfells being the fastest average rate by a mayweek team; the fastest endgame rate for a mayweek team so far has been 170 milliwinterfells. On the other hand, some of you here will recall the slight upgrade from a millipembroke to a millinewhall as a unit of activity elsewhere...]

Winterfell are the senior Avoidant Survivor team.

"We consider what We have done this term to be adequate recompense for not having felt safe enough with any Scavenger Hunts' format to participate before 2018."

They declare. [No Scavenger Hunt having been a Safer Space or at all widely amenable to indirect participation prior to MW18, which Winterfell elected to provide list items and safety-and-conduct rules for, rather than participate in.]

"Our sympathies are with The Many who have been displaced from what would have been their activities of choice over the past year".

"And We will continue to look after Smaller People Like Us here; there is ALWAYS HOPE."

Prize-awarding has not necessarily ceased; prizes awarded so far are on the team table. The Judges proclaim:

"We are also still quite far behind in exhibiting art, non-person photos, chainwriting and other texts received for the Scavenger Hunt. Bear with us; we aim to have tidied this up before next term starts."

"We thank the newer people active in weeks 5, 6 and/or 7 in particular for in fact being those who made this venture worthwhile :) All of you have, or will, receive individual material/physical prizes :)"

POSITION	TEAM NAME	SCORE	NOTES	FLAG OF ALLEGIANCE
1	WINTERFELL , featuring FAKE CAERY alias SHAKE ARIES alias Direwolves amongst Sheep alias Winter is Coming alias The North Remembers alias The She-Wolves of Winterfell, including FAKE ARYA? Nah, make that: FAE SICARIA alias The North Knows But One Queen, and HER NAME is STARK alias The Warren Knows But One Queen, and HER NAME is HAZEL-RAH alias How do you answer to these charges ... Lord Baelish? alias The White Tower, Tar Valon, TV1 ASZI also featuring Amyrlin-Queen-in-the-North Sansa "Three-Eyed Daenactheah" Stark, Arya/Alia of-the-Knife Stark-Gesserit (007), Veronicamars Stark-Sedai (Q-Branch), and IceDragon Reborn version of Nymeria (Royal To'Raken, QueensGuard/Warder) alias Bransa Spenstark (Sansa-on-the-outside, Bran-three-eyes-on-the-inside) alias Kick The Boom Squad in the Famous Purple Clouds alias Dark Swansa's Necklace alias Empress of Seansan's Ever-Victorious-Army alias WINTER IS HERE (The Starks are Always Right in The End) alias Θ	36294.4 [Including a 110-point bonus for breaking the scoring system :S ]	Like flogging a dead horse, except it was a sheep... Followed by, good grief: the Phil-and-Sophie of every Mr Man and Little Miss book, including fake ones about each current cabinet minister, shadow cabinet minister, Blairite cabinet minister and Thatcherite cabinet minister... to Epic Music. Ending, quite naturally with Mr Dead Sheep... * Awarded the Damien Hirst prize for creative use of 'dead sheep' (in figures of speech and drawing only!) * Set a new record for points for a section (2563.2 for the Little Prince). Celebrated by formally scoring infinity for the Sheila section. Bonus List Item 100 point bonus for any other team correctly guessing conceptually how it was possible for Queen Sansa to formally score infinity in the Sheila section... * Awarded the GIVEN Prize for scoring 1600 points for a single item, in week 3. * Awarded the Alan Turing Prize and a 100-point bonus for not just guessing at, but actually cracking, the Totoro = Kandinsky code, via Dali = Pogo through to 'Picasso = Dorothy and van Gogh = Hot Fuzz. Added artwork and several paragraphs per chain in Week 4. * Awarded the Petabolic Martin Prize for Metagaming for further taking us to the cleaners for 7200 points in the Metagaming section, breaking their own record for number of points for a section by almost a factor of 3. * Most of us are Week 5-6 judges. * Shared the Pink Pun-Ther Award in week 6. * Awarded the Wolfgang Amadeus Mouse-Art prize week 7. * Manatee Fair Cover Article Prize for being the Queens of Bojacking own and others' subjects. * Got that the shortest pseudonym of the Veelas is (calligraphic S ee) = (cal S ee) = Khaleesi for 40-point bonus. * Top turkey reading... about turkeys. On the USS Gobbledigook. Encountering the Dalek version of the Empire chasing the Dalek version of the Rebels... * Outtigger, Outviper, Outmantissss, Double-Outmantisss awards. And Outordinance, for managing about 15 LGBT+ references per minute on average for the Now 2018 Reboot of She Ra. Thus setting a new record for a single item, by a factor of 3.5, as part of the heaviest endgame hit ever seen in Scavenger Hunting (The turkey read adding 4000 points, Section X-for-cross-referencing and 'Bad People Explained via the Wizard of Oz' also scoring substantially, all in the last weekend).
2	I AM SPARTACUS AND SO IS MY COLLEGE ALPACA (RIGHT, IS THAT PETERHOUSE OR JOHN'S?) alias I AM ABACUS AND SO IS MY COLLEGE ASPARAGUS GARDEN (RIGHT, IS THAT PEMBROKE OR CAIUS?) alias I AM SUCCUBUS AND SO IS MY SOCIETY'S INCUBUS (RIGHT, IS THAT ROCKSOC OR GOTHSOC?) alias I AM TACTICUS AND SO IS MY COLLEGE BURZURKAR (RIGHT, IS THAT UNSEEN UNIVERSITY OR THE ARCANUM?) alias I AM BOACONSTRICTADICEACUS AND SO IS MY PET ANTEDILUVIAN "SPANISH INQUISITION" MONTY PYTHON APPRECIATION SOCIETY (RIGHT, IS THAT AN INSNAKEWECTION AGAINST WOMAN WULE OR A MINITHTRY OF THILLY THNAKEWALKTH RUN BY BIGGUTH DICCUTH?) alias I AM TITUSANDRONICUS AND SO IS MY PRODUCTION'S PANTOMIME HORSE'S REAR END (RIGHT, IS THAT THE ADC OR THE CORPUS PLAYROOM?) alias I AM TITANICUS AND SO IS MY COLLEGE BALL'S ICE-FIGURE-CARVING-EMPORIUM (RIGHT, IS THAT ST TRINIAN'S FIRST-AND-THIRD BEST PARTY IN THE WORLD OR MAGDAHOUSE'S WHITE-TIE-ONLY "MORNINGDRESSISTOCRATIC REGRESSION" THEMED BASH?) alias I AM VERONICAMARSUNTOTHETRITONICUS AND (CUE EPIC MUSIC) ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GONNA GETCHA GETCHA GETCHA FAKEARICUS, FAKECARICUS AND SANSACUS! alias I AM OZ-CENICUS AND SO IS MY VERY LARGE COLLECTION OF SHE-RA-NUENDA alias I AM FORCHANUS AND SO IS MY EVER-BIG-TORY-ARSE ARMY alias I AM STICKYTOFFEEPUDDINGS'R'US AND SO IS MY SOCIETY OF AMUSING CONSTIPATION NOVEMBER-SCAVENGER-HUNT PARTYRING-STOCK-EXCHANGE alias I AM SHERANOSAURUS AND SO IS MY ALLIANCE OF ETHERIAN ICE, WATER, LIGHT, FLOWER-POWER AND BRAIDHENSILE PRINCESSES (RIGHT, IS THAT OUR 2002 POINTS FOR THE 1985 VERSION OR OUR 2002 POINTS FOR THE 2018 VERSION?) alias Θ	17381.4	Among the first fortnight's Judges. Then an opening salvo of tactical acumen. 'Woman" in the fifth nym is pronounced "Woe-Man", as in the way "The Life of Brian"'s incarnation of Pontius Pilate would pwonounce "Roman"; BONUS ITEM: 50 point bonus for Silliest Pseudonym so far, with 60 points offered to any team presenting a sillier one. * Scored a 1200-pointer (Duelly Tactics) at the start of Week 4, for which they are awarded the Two Horse Race Prize. Which they interpret as the front and back end of a pantomime horse, for a few extra bonus points :) * Managed to muster a 2100-pointer riposte in the by-now infamous Metagaming section at the start of Week 5. * Shared the Pink Pun-Ther Award in week 6. Bonus Item 20 points to whoever points to each Theta occurring in Game of Thrones. 40 points for explaining the further significance of Gold and Silver Thetas in George Martin's works. * The 1001 Nights Prize for finding 1001 LGBT* comments between the 1986 version of She Ra and the 1939 Wizard of Oz film, to Epic music for 2002 points, retaking Silliest Pseudonym in the process. 80 points offered for beating their penultimate nym in the context of their 2002 point item... Forchanus is concurrently playing on Fortuona of Seanchan, Forchan, and something matching Big-Tory-Arse's rear-end (itself a play on Victorious). * Funniest and most thematically relevant Pseudonyms Prize. * OutFerret, Outlite and Outl33t Superlatives. * Endgame included putting 1001 LGBT* comments on She Ra Reboot for 2002 points. Visiting Wittgenstein's grave and the Heraldic Purple Pelican of Perse (alias a Red Herring because the Chronophage, Old Cavendish and St Botolph's are all on the perimeter of Corpus whose heraldic Pelican is not however Purple). And writing an Ode to why Margaret -T-h-a-t-c-h-e-r- Hamilton is Greeeeeeeen for most of the Wizard of Oz...
3	THE THIRD ACE BATALLION alias BANE OF ALL ROBOTIC ARCHBISHOPS OF CANTERBURY alias WATERPISTOL FIGHTER ACES alias SER STARKACUS, THE NOT-QUITE-AS-BRAVE-AS SANSAS'LOT	4776	from the Phil-and-Sophie of Dahl through to Rowling... and then some Duelling and Chainwriting. Were among the second fortnight's Judges. * Held the Silliest Pseudonym Prize, beating of which was worth 70 points... * Claimed the Thetas award for explaining the significance of the Gold and Silver Theta team names.
4	SO-BOOOGS alias Kick Redacted out of Redacted alias Fruitcake Beneficiaries alias The Fortuona and HER To'raken Society alias The Rebel Tower, Salidar, Altara 0PN 4BSNS :P alias [To WhoSoc]: We're in Your Base Killing your Oods...	4384	Harmless Toy Weapons and Sillness 'r us
5	SHE RA AND THE GREAT REBELLION alias ETHERIANS for EQUALITY, Featuring Adora/She Ra, Princess Glimmer of BrightMoon, Queen CastaSpella of Mysticor, Ice-Queen Frosta Spirit/Swift Wind the Horse/Alicorn (Accomplice Only) and Elbow/Bow alias FAR DAREIS MAI (Maidens of the Spear) QUEEN OF THE ANDALS, THE RHOYNAR AND THE FIRST MEN, KHALEESI OF THE GREAT GRASS SEA, THE UNBURNED, BREAKER OF CHAINS AND MOTHER OF DRAGONS. alias e alias FIRST VEELA DIVISION "VEELA ANGELS"	3573	Silliness, Tactical Acumen, Girl Power. And now Silly Chainwriting :) Yep, the White Tower's postcode's last block reads Aes Sedai (A-eS Zed-aI) :) 80 points to Griffindor for this beflagged revelation :) Bonus Item 40 points to the team guessing our shortest pseudonym.	* First Veelas Crest Pending *
6	THE SECOND ANACONDA BATALLION alias THE THIRD DISGUSTING FUSELIERS, O AVIAN SPACE MONKEY alias SHAMAD CONDE, O PINEAPPLE-DUCK-EMPRESS (means Thunder Walkers) alias GREAT SNAKES, IT'S THE THOMPSONS! alias WHEN IT'S OUR TURN JUDGING, WE'LL HAVE YOU CONSTRUCT CARDBOARD CROCODILES, AND PAINT THEM GREEEEEEEEEEEN FOR BONUS POINTS... alias THE GREEEEEEEEEEEEN TOWER, WHICH FEATURED NOT IN THE SERIES BECAUSE IT WAS TOO SECRET! WHERE THE EPONYMOUS AJAH MEMBERS TRAIN THEIR FURTHER MULTIPLE CROCODILOCEPHALIC WARDERS alias CONDUCT UNBECOMING OF THE ARCANUM	2785	cake, chainwriting. * Ivegottasaurus prize for Reptilian Puns.
7	*THE OCTOBER* HARES**	2781	Fondant, Silly Socs, Chains. Best Sneak and Outmanoeuvre. Inventors of Paper Rock Scissors Lizard Spock Air and Fire
8	THE THREE MUSS-COB-TEERS: SWAN FOR ALL AND ALL FOR SWAN! alias SWAN RING TO RULE THEM ALL: A CYGNET RING! alias DARK SWANSA: THE BLACK-SWAN INCARNATION OF SANSA STARK alias THE SWANTASTIC FIVE alias SWANACTIVISTIC SWANACONDAS SAY: "RETURN MR ASBO!" alias SWANORAMA Round UP OUR SCORE TO 3 CYGNIFICANT FIGURES! SWANITY FAIR, OR SHOUND THAT BE SWANFIRE OF THE SWANITIES? SWANDUCT UNBECOMING OF THE ARCANUM	2377	Literally blasting all of the first 13 Duelly items... and then having a Sheila Meeting and a token chain Are among Week 5-6's Judges
9	THE MAD HATTER (are a Team, rather than a single participant)	2186	Cake, Silliness, more Cake, Battles... yet more Cake! Superlative Outcrane
10	White Rabbit's Pocketwatch	410	.
11	Supporter N	120	.
12	DUELLY Haigha	114	Duelly
13	THE DEUCE OF HEARTS	84	Purveyor of Enlightened Customs
14	DUELLY HATTA	72	Duelly
15	WE OPEN AT THE CLOSE	40	.
16	The Baker of The Tarts	20	Bakey
17	THE CRUSTAMBULANCE	20	(a pun on "Crispy Ambulance": the title of the Head of CTF and "Crustambulum": latin for cake :) )
18 =	CREOSOTE AND THE WAFER-THIN MINTS	10	(a failed attempt on the 'silliest team name' prize :) )
18 =	The Coiner of Cheshivanescence	10	.
20 =	THE PAINTERS OF THE ROSES	0	.
20 =	Humpty Dumpty	0	.
20 =	The Dormouse (still asleep)	0	.
20 =	The Cheshire Cat's Grin	0	.
20 =	The Rest of the Cheshire Cat	0	.

_____________________________________________ L A S T . . W E E K ' S . . C H A I N S ____________________________________________

1) Two tentacled bunnies amble...

under a sky of silk, a neon rainbow and woollen clouds

“The princess saw the silky sky and thought to themself:

I wonder why the caterpillar is eating all the stars and not my wife’s philosophical marshmallows”.

To which the marshmallows replied

``because the pleistocene porters promised us a pillow pie!"

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

Lyanna in the TOJ with Rubies.

Elbereth Gilthoniel among the stars wearing Silmarils.

{Nobody can top that: Game Over!]

2) If a crooked cook is caught...

eggs eggsclaim eggregious egspletives eggstatically.

curds condolesce and convalesce in certitude of a cheerier tomorrow

Bustling bees billowing bubbling benches bottled by bins be bonkers

drooling dogs devlopping divine doctrines deifying and doollalifying the dastradliest of daffodils.

alsatians acidly and assidiously ascertain absenteesim apologias

femtocopteric frogules flimsily fantabulate for free-masonry

Georapphes gingerly gratify grammaritatian grudges

Hippopotamus Hofficers' halitosis horrifies Henry-the-steam-engine.

Choo, choo, enough 'halliteration' nonsense in these parts...

This sketch is 'hofficially' shut down by British Trainspotting Police...

3) "Troublesome Tribbles Behaving Academically...

Prior to the loooooooooooooooong holidays, in which

they went to sea in a pea-green sieve and ate their curds and vinegar

and wrapped their feet in brown paper" - said the spider to the cockle-shells”

"No, Bubblesome Bibbles Behooving bovine-epidemically...

Posterior to the *short* wallowdays, in which

hippopotami went to the river in a wanderlust of wallwernarlia and ate their purloined pies

and dried their feet on a rapindly-browning newspaper stand" said the liger to the codicial.

"Stop playing the whispers game" moaned Sheila to her Dog.

4) Spaghettonification is the opposite of

walkofatonementrepurification

5) Trouble Tiptoeing? Become Airborne!

Double Dipping? Recrumb Delicatessen!

Said the Fox in Socks, so as to hex and perplex the rabbit-chicken hybrids

as they headlessly but not earlessly endeavoured to burrow their way across the road.

“Agh, my hat changed my nose again. Seuss, I do not want a bespoke Vivaldi-style nostril, I told you I wanted to find a /Stradivarius/“

insisted Agamemnon the Cockroach, all a-waving an unemployed bow.

Enter Mr Colepterson, arching his prodigious and horned Monobrow of Proprietry.

1) Two tentacled bunnies amble

diagonally through the mist-muffins

in search of Pastures Greeeeeeeen.

They are a Mother and Child,

and this is the Little-One's First-Time So-Far From-Home.

2) If a crooked cook is caught...

will lunch be late or dinner delayed??

Hah, she'll serve thyme, that's what!

"Your Honour, six years for beating the eggs is a tad draconian..."

" Neo-Victorian..." murmered the back of the courtroom.

"Warlaggian!" screamed a man in the gallery, before being escorted off the premises by two Hofficers-of-the-Court.

Let us pretend these were Judroons.

[Though they were NOT!]

5) Trouble Tiptoeing? Become Airborne! ...

Trouble Tipping? Become Air!

Trouble Weaving Air?

Travel to Tremalking!

The Wheel of Cheese turns, and Sage-Derbies curdle and pasteurize, leaving fromagiverous mammalian lactic products that become quesadilla-legends. Which fade to Monterrey-jack myth, and even Monterrey-jack myth is long fruited-stilton-forgotten when the Sage-Derby that gave it birth curdles again.

In one Sage-Derby, called the Three-Year-Mature Sage-Derby by some, a Sage- Derby yet to curdle, a Sage-Derby long past its best-by-date, a fromageoderous wind rose in the great agricultural-industrial complex called Brie-de-la-Creme's Wood-Smoked Seasoning Refinerie. The wind was not the Brie-ginning. There are neither brie-ginnings nor most-mature cheeses to the churning of the Wheel of Cheese. But it was a Brie-ginning.

Nynareva Macgallstone-and-magic-roundabout's-Dougal was tugging her braid under an assortment of hats. Moiraine Hermionedred smoothed her azure silk skirts and stirred the pot of tea with a runcible-ter-angreal-spoon-of-office.

6) The despicative-optative mood was invented by ...

a despicable optician.

Optifex et Artifex Quintus Deplorabilis of the Octoberii was his name...

"What is this revisionism" asked the psychohistorian, nostrils flaring aghast.

"Everybody knows it was invented by that Mightiest of Creturs, the Steam-Powered Georapphe- Bodied Cyborg Version of President Abe Lincoln...

as part of his bid to attain immortality by imposing a Hyperstrict Grammarian Union, by which the word " sockdologizing" would Never be Uttered."

* Laughter *Muffled Bang* "Sic Semper!" shouted a Hippopotamus-Headed but Georapphe-Bodied Cyborg fleeing the scene of growing pandemonium.

"Oops, we shouldn't have said that..." (CONSIDERED FINISHED)

7) Techno-Tortoises Become Actors...,

Placid People Become Props.

And Robotic Rhubarbs Become Re-enactors.

Playing Hippopotamus-Headed Hofficers of the Helleventh Halabama. (CONSIDERED FINISHED)

8) They don't have faces, so that one on the left can't be looking its colleague in the eye. ...

For some reason though, it feels that, without doing anything more than just standing there and exerting their presence, they are actually winking at each other.

Maybe the prehensile macrotaches are responsible for this sensation.

9) Tanker Tows Britain Away...

In Protest Against Plate Tectonics.

But actually also in accord with prevailing oil markets.

10) The Milton Keynes Butter Robots...

are a Slippery Slope to A.I. World Domination!

This is why a sentient and crudely self-reproducing species of Concrete Cow was created.

Though they often became distracted by circular spaces,

which apparently compel them to hold meetings of the marxist-collective,

so as to appoint bolitical cowmissars, and other bulligerent and udderly pointless shaky cowbell postings, such as...

26) Time Travelling Beaver Astronauts

Very little of what is found in space is what is expected to be found, and very little of that has any right to be there. These are accepted and irrefutable facts. However, what most people don’t know is that the same can be said for time. It is possible to find a qurple analyser in the 11th century, or a phone with a stretchy spiral cord in the 48th. The mess that is outer (and indeed inner) space can be attributed to a great number of people and organisations, but the mismatch of items scattered across time have one main source: the Time Travelling Beaver Astronauts.

Featuring Brett "the Brawn" Bucktoothson, Bobby "Backwards Chronology" Bountybrook and Belladonna "the Brains" Belvoir.

In cinemas near you from... whenever, really. It's being released in all ages that have had cinemas, while cinemas themselves are being released in all other ages...

27) They Took Back Antares!

Antares is ours! Or it should be, by any rights. We bought it, we own it. But those silly little locals took it back! Well, they won’t get the better of us this time. This time we have a plan, a plan to rival all plans that were ever planned before. This time we will succeed. What is it they say? Five-hundred-and-seventy-third time lucky? We’ll show them who’s boss. We’ll show them a tiny band of Brave and Honourable people can never beat a Corporation. We’ll make them regret that they took back Antares (again)!

And so it went on and on and on. The Lizardmen of Antares IV unseated the Alligatorwomen from 'Posteriors'^* IV, only to have the rug pulled out from under their own scaled hindlegs and counterweight tails, confining them back to the swampy hinterlands.

^* Alligatorwomen's alternative history's name for the homeland.

Eventually a large spaceship of a more advanced civilization's making placed itself into Posteriocentric orbit (the Alligatorwomen being 'in power' at that point). A Rotund Bearded Man with a Cat soon Appeared before the Alligatorwomen's Liberation Front Leader, Santalia of the Knife-edged-Teeth.

"I will give you an otherworldly species of warcodlile to ride at the Antaerean Capital that no Lizardman can withstand... in exchange for 20% of your planet's resources" he offered, as his Cat purritonely fuzzcordioned across his ample lap.

"Sure" she agreed, with a macroserratomaxillarodontic-rictussmile and a tokenlacrima of authentication.

28) The Terrible Threat of the Bionic Aardvark

It was quiet, and still, and early enough that colours had yet to remember how to be more than grey-scale. Not everything was right with the world, but the things that were wrong were put on hold, allowed some breathing space. The simple noise of fluttering leaves and humming streetlamps sounded like life shuffling in its sleep. It was the perfect moment for something modestly amazing to happen. Or something straightforwardly terrible.

Two suns rose over Ant-ares III, alias the hiveworld planet. Its diminuitive inhabitants were cheerily chirping about their daily affairs of bliss. Anti-social gatherings abounded, and several films by quentin tar-ant-ino had left the colonies' cinemas packed to the rafters with adoring ant-fans watching "the hateful eight-legged creature" and "once upon an anthill in holywood".

Aye.

Holywood.

As in the termite-run movie studios.

But if we described this matter too long, it would bore you to death.

Literally. (CONSIDERED CLOSED)

____________________________________________________________________________________________ Other highlights

1) [Spartacus divided up the She Ra and Wizard of Oz screen time to rewatch all of these things between them, giving us a play-by-play account of LGBTQIAAABDSMPP+ interpretations thereof, totalling 1001 items, delivered of course with Epic Music]

So Adora is actually a Hyper-Dominant Lipstick-Lesbian Girl-Power 80's-Icon called She-Ra, but SHE's ony Out about this to three Allies. The first is a suitably camply-voiced etherial-rainbow divine-entity who lives in a crystal skyhouse-dungeon in a closeted-but-in-plain view location (on top of a mountain that is permanently shrouded in mist: i.e. a pre-70's LGBT safer space of Gondolin class). The second is a presumedly-bisexual retired first-generation pro-domme called "Madam Razz" who wears closeting looses and rides an anthropomorphosized broom called, unimaginatively but truly, Broom. She is wise and well-meaning if not always fortunate, and is part of the show's non-ageism and a small crumb thrown to diversity of bodyshape. The third is Kowl, a rainbow-eared, definitely non-gender-role conforming part-Koala and part-Owl; we shall be pointing to various Trans and Nonbinary actions, mannerisms and opinions in this character later (his double-act with male 'princess-in-distress' Bow is legendary). The 1-minute introduction goes to reveal that Adora's horse Spirit also transforms, now into an Alicorn with rainbow wings: Swift Wind. Rainbows also appear behind She Ra's great rebellion alliance, consisting as you see, mostly of female kinksters who always publicly wear distinctive fetish outfits. Apart from Razz, who presumably keeps Hers closeted under her loose exteriors, and Broom, who perhaps understandably as an actual broom, wears no clothes at all. Broom and Bow are the only two presenting as male, though Bow clearly has a penchant for Prince Adam's latest lines in 1980's gay fashion, all tight lycra trousers, shades of pink, and a shiny-and-camp heart emblazoned on his semi-skimpy armour. And Rainbows emanate from the Sword of Protection when transforming into She Ra occurs. "I have the Power", she Hyper-dominantly proclaims, and rightfully uses this power to defend her many female and/or LGBTQIAAABDSMPP+ friends. She is Chief Custodian of the Safer Space known as Whispering Woods, which she patrols at height atop Swifty. The bad guys are then introduced, from patriarchal despot Hordak to TERF-cruel Shadow Weaver and Catra (a domme banned from the whispering woods safer space for veering into nonconsensual-sadistic tendencies). And a three-legged guy literally called Mantenna (need we say more). These all also wear bdsm outfits, apart from Shadow Weaver, who has the sharpened black-polished nails to fit the part, but also wears closeting garb similar to Razz's and is indeed eventually revealed to have been 'trained' alongside Razz in the arts of -d-u-n-g-e-o-n- "magic".

Episode 1 in fact has its own separate introduction because the first few episodes were rolled into a film called 'the "secret" of the "sword" '. The music for this starts with "somewhere out there someone needs me" (with no heteronormativity, cisnormativity etc assumed) "I don't know how or where but believe me" (inexperience with homoeroticism, kink etc, not knowing where to find similar people, and an appeal to be believed for being sexually, genderedly and romantically different) "I'll walk the universe to find her" (so this singer is looking for a woman, but of a kind that are few and far between, a feeling well known in local, if not online, fetish communites, and this was 1985 so there were no online ones then). "for the honour of love" (so, yes, a relationship of some kind is being sought) "by the power above" (ie I am seeking a Top) "I have the Power" (oh, ok, seeking a Switch then). "A stranger walked into my world" (tall and handsome? ;) and what "world" would that be ;) ) "and when he talked I really heard" (i was into some of the same kinds of thing) "he spoke of things like love and peace" (nuff said). "the joy it brings will never cease" (I like this, and nonvanilla is infinitely varied). (she then repeats previous lines: love, power, above, justifying the two Switches interpretation). "the truth of love will always guide us" (these are properly caring partners, and questioning, and kink-questioning) "the strength above will be inside us" (needs no comment :) ) "Forever more we'll be together" (let's make it a permanent arrangement) "our hearts will sew one to the other " (told you so). And we're introduced to another man in lycra, an amazon in armour, and another Top, now in Angel gear (or possibly a Feathery).

Cut to another Feathery (just how many will there be?), having nightmares about the Patriarchy gatekeeping babies. She then picks up a "sword" to derive some comfort. Cut to a camp pink-trousered Prince 'preparing' his 'famous' 'spiced bread', with a non-gender-role-conforming orange-and-green Tiger-Furry at his side. The prince stirs the dough and attains "telepathic contact" with the second Feathery. "You must come to Castle Gayskull immediately" she tweets. "Well, if it's a 'gate', 'where' does it 'go to'?" Questions the prince. "This 'door' has 'never opened before' " says the Feathery. " And you 'want me' to 'pass through it'..." says the prince, obviously confused by the heteronormative imagery of the rather more worldly Feathery. "I would 'go myself'. 'But as you know'..." says the Feathery, confirming she's had grown-up talks about her preferences with this open-pink-shirted prince before "but i have no power outside this -d-u-n-g-e-o-n- castle". "Hold out your hand. This 'sword'" (oh dear)... "Why, except for this jewel, this 'sword' 'looks exactly like mine' " (he says, immodestly, and slightly peeved at not having such fetching adornment in his [censored]) "and like yours, it is meant for someone with a very special destiny" says the feathery (oh, lol) "Adam, please, ask no questions!" she exclaims (oo er). So he goes through 'the gate'. With his Tiger. Into a powder-puff makeup room (sorry, we know those are trees). "Nice place, uh" he says to the pink powder-puff background. "the laughing swan inn" he exclaims "it sounds like a happy place" (OK, so they locate a LGBT-friendly bar within what, 12 seconds of arriving on a new planet? :) Can't be done without a *bit* of practical experience...) The Tiger confirms it smells like a happy place :) There is a booted domme at the bar. The musician, presenting male, is sitting in a female posture, and wearing pink tights, happily harping along. There is also a latex air-stewardess and a rainbow-eared floaty creature next to a literally-closeted (cloaked) man with an 80's pornstar-moustache and combat-boots on; this is Bow. The bartender is submissively deferential to the prince; he only says "how may we serve you" *after* the deferential sign. The barman is not familiar with Furries, but is happy to learn, given the prince's good natured charm, and statement of universal rights too... "your animal... he speaks?" perplexed-look "doesn't everybody?" :) The barman is then surprised that the tiger 'orders fish'.

Ok, now there's a robot menacingly patting a 'metallic rod' outside. The prince ordered a 'leg of chicken'. Ok, now, yes, not one, not two, but three robots with cattleprods enter the bar. Bow responds by 'making a grab for his bow' under the table and 'extending it' (oo er). The robots literally start throwing people out of the bar (boo, boo, boo). They casually attack the wonderful harper (more boos). A kneeling apology on his part, for daring to complain, is met with physical violence (BOO). Then we get the line "do you know what I'm going to do with you, music-maker?" The pink-shirted prince intercedes, true defender of his community. Bow eyes him up, whereas Kowl is dismissive (or is that jealous?) The robot then threatens to chain the prince up. Bow then disarms both cattleprod-wielding robots with a single 'well placed arrow' Bravo! He slides out of his hooded coat, revealing finely toned abs and torso. He objects to their trying to capture and enslave the prince. Things degenerate into a 'wrestling match'. Kowl expresses non-macho-man solidarity with the Tiger by hiding under the same table "mind if I join you" is his -p-i-c-k---u-p---l-i-n-e- introduction, followed by hiding UNDER the Tiger as well! Bow, laughing camply and using the shaft of his bow "I am not a 'citizen', I am a 'rebel'!" in a stirring display of non-normativity. "Thanks" "My Pleasure" is Bow and the Prince's first exchange, as the one rams a bucket over the head of the other's opponents. Camp hand-shake while a rainbow winged creature lands on Bow's shoulder: an omen? No, it's Kowl again... Bow says the robots have friends in town and invites the Prince to run away with him to the safety of Whispering Woods. That's kind of a bit early to suggest running away with him, Bow, you've had, what, three lines of conversation with this guy so far... "from now on, my 'friend' you are part of 'the great rebellion' " Bow continues. And so they elope.

Meanwhile, in Hordak's dungeon complex... (churchill college, by the outlay, identical square block after square block with sciency torture apparatus poking out of most courtyards and windows.) The hyper-dominant male is bethroned, far above various lycra-wearing goons, one of whom has a mask on as well, another clearly has three legs (but we warned you of that already). Another has a sucker for a face. Two are in domme-boots, one with a whiplike tail to boot. Nothing left to the imagination. We clarify one of these is Scorpia, the notorious Crunchy. The other is Catra, a feline-voiced furry-and-masked domina. Hordak turns his arm into the first of many phallic symbols of patriarchal oppression - a las-cannon - and damages part of his throneroom by [censored] with it, just to get a second 80s baddies' laugh off.

Cut to the prince riding behind Bow on the same aesthetically-pleasing and often-shampooed horse, rainbow-eared Kowl floating in tow like an ironically-bowless cherub, past the powder-puff-bushes and pink-and-purple clouds. Idyllic bliss! The poses of several men in the rebel camp are suggestive; some kneel and most are 'polishing spears'. Bow then introduces his new boyfriend to Glimmer. Razz crash lands her way into the show, with flower power on Her hat. Glimmer, she of the bubblegum-pink hair, then uses 'magic' to tie up a female opponent at distance, but some green dude grabs her, which she likes not one cent. Green dude is definitely creepy and up to no good. Bow moves in to save the Lesbian-in-Distress from the gren dude. But two enemy dommes floor him. Scorpia intimates that she will [censored, censored, and, just no, censored, though ok, the evidence for this is fair, so points you do have]. So the Prince gets his sword out, and turns into He Man. The tiger submits to him, and genderfluids personality into Battlecat. So enter a massively-muscled man in the world's skimpiest armour atop a 15-foot long Tiger. Scorpia makes similar threats to He-Man; it's also made fairly clear that Scorpia is at least Nonbinary, and possibly Trans. He-Man is then however cattleprodded by a random extra as the Force Captain gloats on in dominant tones. She indeed proceeds to emasculate him: takes his sword and says "you are mine, now". Or was she just referring to the fact she's had him tied to a table? Actually both: "you AND this 'curious' 'sword'" she says!

. . .

"You will have noticed that so far no mention has been made of the Tin Man. Aside from allegedly having no heart (Aro) but wanting one and displaying many of its qualities beforehand (Arofluid, Arotransitioning, pro-body-modifying-surgery), for this man lubricant is a sine qua non. He needs an Ally to find, carry and apply said lubricant, after which he is free to be Out (and about, and himself). And then, why he goes club-dancing as an icebreaker. And my oh my, he is not only a Nudist but an Exhibitionist, who just goes around waving his MASSIVE CHOPPER. And then joins the world's first Gay Pride Parade skipping one's way down the 'yellow brick road' all a chanting for 'lions, tigers and BEARS' to join them, all the way to the gate guarded by the world's campest soldier, rifle florally arranged (please ASK and do TELL). A true friend of Dorothy's!"

2) The Mouse-with-Umbrella Badge for "the Shy" we received will be further worked on to make a couple of new badges. This is the most useful piece of art. We're hoping to link you to a copy of it as well as a picture of that by now infamous Fake Mr Man, Mr Dead-Sheep, in the last week of term. [Winterfell's Art]

3) So, one team gave us 400 puns in pairs for 1920 points in which all the bishops were septons, to count double by being game of thrones characters. Another team, however, considered all the bishops to be redacted-obscenity from the Urban Dictionary. A third team, predictably swanned their way though 40 waterfowl puns, which, while named "Swanduct unbecoming of the arcanum", was probably the gentlest and cutest 1920-pointer for 400 coordinated puns. The 10-pun categories were indeed based on at least one team pseudonym per regularly-scoring team :)

4) Winterfell's Duelly: Our First Sword got 46 kills before being taken out, ending on 64.

5) The Hatters come out tops on number of cakes provided. One cake was decorated with fondant to look like a zoo :) We've asked for a photo record of this (there are around 15 witnesses).

6) Outlier Prize: Together, our three most high-scoring participants have outscored our other 60+ participants combined. This prize consists of an invitation to write a short manual on how to play Scavenger Hunt :) For talent and dedication are *rewarded* here, as well as directed to higher purpose. These three participants have agreed to not have any alliances between them next term. Two will try to win again, now without the third's help. The third will instead help develop two or three of the littler teams :)

7) The Rafferty-Hunt Prize goes to "Spartacus" for selecting items that could score simultaneously for Cakefaeries and Confusing Anticipation scav hunts. Who were somewhat more confused than usual as to why some such items were delivered accompanied by improptu epic music (so as to double-score but not Rafferty-double-score).

8) There are also prizes for the three newer people who scored substantially in weeks 6 and 7. You more than anybody else made this worthwhile to judge and think up list items for :) Similar thanks go to the newer Listeny who agreed to join up with a Closeted team. Between the four of you, You Are Heroes :)

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